Does a live in relationship provide the necessary comfort that being tied down in a marriage does not?

This question is raised and often asked by many to me and though I always manage to rustle up an answer, I am sometimes as confused myself.

Two individuals who like each other, confess love to each other, want to live together. How difficult is that and why is it perceived wrongly by many? Well there are advanced societies that allow for this kind of relationships to flourish and don’t mind it at all to be a part of their normal everyday lifestyle. There are of course still traditionally held societies where this kind of a life, is well, not disallowed however, not looked comfortably upon.

Whatever the society may think, my question is for the individuals and to the individuals’ infact who live in together. Why live in without a formal tie up of marriage? Is it more secure, less secure and therefore more freedom providing, does it disallow taking the other for granted – these are my questions.

I have tried to think rationally from both ends and some may call me a conservatively ageing woman, but my vote lies with the institution of marriage. Albeit there are some benefits that live-in relationships do provide. The sheer freedom for a woman in a live in relationship is enough to sway many votes in the arrangement’s favor. A woman is far freer to move about in live in relationship than in a marriage. The sheer freedom to up and cut away from the guy is available in a live in relationship than in a marriage. Besides this there is another great factor of actually not allowing egos to clash in this kind of a setup. There are differences in opinion, and one may not like what the other is offering on some parts, however on the whole the idea of adjustment is higher, to my mind, in a live in relationship.

However these very factors are infact the disciplinarians in a marriage and therefore reasons for success. Yes as confusing as that may sound and though there is no freedom to up and run away that is available to a woman in a marriage, this also holds true for a man. Therefore this becomes the very reason for working towards a successful marriage. The ego clashes exist here as well however, the compromises help cement a marriage and therefore make it successful. Again children born in a marriage are by far more stable than otherwise.

Marriage provides an aura of relaxation and stability to both the husband and wife. At the end of the day, there is no worry of either putting on an act of constant understanding or be fearful that the other will just pick up his stuff and run off for some weird reason. Of course there may be chances of taking one for granted in a marriage, but that hold true for every strong relationship; even between a mother and her child.

Therefore my vote and recommendation lies with a marriage, as the foundation of a successful association between a man and a woman. Where does your lie?

A woman’s life is constantly about fulfilling wishes. As a kid it is the mother who is hell bent on dressing the girl child with all sorts of goodies that she probably missed out on. Then at some point the father takes over in terms of demanding that his wish be respected about how the little ‘Miss’ should dress to middle school or college.

Once that is through, usually a boyfriend is in the picture with his wishes and demands and the emotional stress of a relationship. Once a girl reaches her mid twenties and after, is when she really starts living somewhat on her own terms. Of course unless she is already married off by then. In that scenario we all know how demanding a husband can be!

There are many myths that break when we females ‘mature’ by the time we hit twenties and many new revelations dawn upon us. Some break our heart while some become lessons for life!

One of the first things that a woman who does when she comes off her own, is the dress code policy. I remember my time. When I was in the age where nobody could actually question, demand or impose their wishes on me, the first thing that changed for me was the way I dressed.

It is not always about wearing the wackiest or weirdest clothes or wearing the shortest skirt. It is about exploring one’s own dress sense. Making wardrobe errors, wearing embarrassing colors and uncomfortably fitting outfits actually helps one arrive at one’s accurate dress sense. I wouldn’t have ever known that pink did not suit me, till I actually wore a pink outfit to a friend’s birthday gathering when I was 22, only to be ambushed by all and sundry on my baby looks.

Experiencing wardrobe malfunctions only make one learn how the wardrobe should be working. Of course not the kinds that are experienced by our celebrities.

Therefore if you’ve just found your freedom from living out other’s wishes go out and experience yours. And let clothing top the list!

Many know this line quite well. Many of us women in our just arrived adulthood wonder how many other women manage to have hair that glossy, shining, well shaped and falling so perfectly on their shoulders, always.

Many of them when asked for their secret potion claim some shampoo, hair spa or even a ‘that time of the month’ as an excuse for their hair looking so good. They usually say that their hair doesn’t look all that good all the time and that there is a certain period when their tresses actually fall so well.

I don’t know if these excuses are true and whether many shampoos and potions can do such wonders. There are some home remedies that have been successfully tested and found to be quite effective in hair care. Inexpensive, easy, hassle free and allows one the liberty to finish off other pending activities, these home care hair remedies have neither side effects or negative impact on the body. Being absolutely natural, these remedies are simple and come highly recommended.

One of the easiest ways to get started is, by applying the white of an egg on the hair just about 15 minutes before wash. To do away with the stink of an egg from your hair, add some rose water or a drop of vinegar. Applying egg on the hair provides the volume needed by the hair that is drying up and looking dead.

Another tried and tested home formula is mixing honey and milk in a 1:2 proportion and applying on the hair and the scalp. Keeping the mixture on for about 15 to 30 minutes is enough to get back the sheen in the hair.

Dandruff is a regular visitor for most of us and there aren’t many successful ways to doing away with it, permanently. Soaking Fenugreek seeds in water overnight, crushing them and then applying the mixture on hair for about an hour before a head bath has many ladies vouching for success in getting rid of dandruff.

Another simple yet effective way for dandruff handling is applying curd mixed with some lemon juice on the scalp alone. Again this mix should take effect in 30 minutes and a thorough head wash helps clear the head skin leaving the tresses looking voluminous and shiny.

There are many other mixtures and potions available in the markets that have chemicals and synthetic products used in their manufacturing. Home remedies take effect quite well, if patiently followed as a ritual and of course it is always better to go natural and save the skin other damages.

Have you recently split with your ex, but after some time apart you are asking yourself did I make the right decision?

If you got to the stage where you are falling out over toasters, things were clearly not good! If you rushed into a decision to break up with your partner, but now your wishing you hadn’t and you could take it all back, then it is time to get your ex back.

Figuring out how to get your ex boyfriend back after you dumped him is not the easiest task, as he will most likely be very hurt from the whole situation.

How to get your ex back might be the easiest part, as you are the one who left him so he probably still loves you and would jump at the chance to make up. Getting him to trust you again and feel secure in the relationship will be the difficult part.

The most important thing you need to do is make sure your ex knows that you made a mistake. Once he understands that you are sorry and want the opportunity to explain yourself then he will hopefully begin to come round.

Talk to him and let him know why you felt that way in the first place, explain the way you felt and what made you want to split. This way you can both come up with valuable ideas to take the relationship forward and help it grow.

If you get lucky enough, and your ex is still interested in being with you, then make the most of it. Make sure you show your appreciation that he has given you this second chance. It will have been very difficult for him to reform the relationship after you rejected him and it takes a very strong man to do this.

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Do not agree with me? Well, when was the last time you went to a circus? Chances are high that you visited the circus when you were a child. Well, when was the last time your child visited a circus? Never. Why? We live in a world that is progressing so fast that we have let go of the old without really thinking about it. Checking out YouTube videos on the Internet may seem like a cool thing and watching advertisements on pop up stands may seem like a modern and accessible option.

Is it really the case? I am not against development or progress. However, I do not believe that blindly running at top speed does not automatically qualify as development and progress. The circus holds a charm that is virtually irreplaceable by any other source of entertainment. Sadly, we have not even bothered to spend time thinking about the demise of this popular entertainment options.

To focus on new and improved solutions without really understanding the benefits of the old and traditional way of life is a shortcut for disaster. Just look around you and you will find that we are committing this mistake in the almost each and every aspect of our lives. Is it really a good thing?

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The many different types of chess set

Chess sets uk sounds like a weird marketing term, but in fact it’s something I found extremely helpful when actually searching for the right set for me. After I’d played my fiftieth game with my friend, she demanded her chess set from me – I’d borrowed it ever since she got me into the game. It was fair enough, I had had the set for nearly four months and there’s only so far a friendship can extend when it comes to lending things out.

So I had to find a chess set all for myself. I had never played chess as a kid growing up so I had no idea where to look initially. Thankfully as always help is at hand in the form of the internet. First I typed in chess sets on the various search engines but I got an awful lot of stuff that was useless to me. Most of the companies advertising were based abroad and the cost of actually shipping a decent set over to the UK was too much for little old me. Once I altered my approach and typed in chess sets uk, I got a much more refined set of results.

Even then I got a load of companies come up that I wasn’t sure I trusted too much – there is a lot of spam on the internet. Fortunately because I have a friend who works in online marketing I was cunningly able to deduce that anything after the first ten results was likely to be useless. That left me ten results to choose from rather then the thousands that the internet offered up like a buffet.

The Right Set For Me

I had no idea how many different types of chess sets there are in the world! Staunton chessmen, metal chessmen, ornate chessmen, isle of lewis chessmen…the list just went on and on and I admit even my crazy brain began to struggle a bit! Then when I moved onto boards I almost had a heart attack. There are literally thousands of different variations and materials to choose from; wooden, metal, magnetic, electric, plastic, porcelain, table…again the list goes on.

Fortunately for me thanks to being persistent with typing in Chess sets uk on the net, I was finally able to find a company that were able to help me.

Not only did they have everything one could need to know about chess, but they also had a physical show room in the UK you can use to try out the different types of sets. The man I spoke to was really nice as well and told me that if I couldn’t make it to the show room then not to worry at all – there were videos all over the website that would help me make a decision plus he offered to take me through everything over the phone free of charge to help me make up my mind. Now that’s service that I never get on the high street anymore!

Chess sets uk yay!

So thanks to a little ingenuity from me (I know it’s a surprise!), a search on the net and a really nice man, I now own a custom made wooden board and pieces that are beautifully rendered and varnished. Time to challenge my friend again!

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When I say “Yay!” and tell people that I will dance anywhere, I am not messing about or exaggerating. Not in the slightest possible way. As anyone of my friends would tell you if you asked them, my dancing knows no bounds. Just like at the bus stop last Monday.

It was early in the morning, a time when most normal people would rather be lying in bed. Me, on the other hand, I love being up and about, and so when I overheard the two women talking about dance I was ready and alert. I listened intently in.

After a minute or two the woman on the right turned to look at me and asked me if I was OK. She did this in the way where it was obvious what she was really asking was Why are you listening in to our private conversation?

I said back, with no shame at all, “I heard you were talking about dance, and I am always up for a bit of a dance!”

Soon I was a Monday morning whirlwind of energy

The one on the left looked at me, laughed and said, “well why don’t you show us, then?”

And so I did. And as I begun my twirling movement – signifying the start of the dance – all the boring things like things they try and brainwash us into saying at work (corporate speak like Patient handling train the trainer is one of these obscure things and I won’t begin to bore you with what it means…) and all the excitement in my head all became as one. Soon I was a Monday morning whirlwind of energy which the entire queue had not a chance to ignore!

At the end of my dance I did a curtsy and both the women laughed, but in a good way. It was only then that the noise which had accompanied my dancing died away and I realised that the whole lot of them had been merrily clapping!

See, dancing can be done anywhere, as can saying “Yay!” So, spread the love, people. If you like to dance and feel like busting some moves out, don’t wait for permission. Just let those freaky limbs of yours fly and have a good time with it, right?

(Side note: there are times when, even if you feel like it, you probably shouldn’t dance. One is at a terrifically sad funeral. Unless in that dead person’s will was the wish for you to go ahead, in which case the more the merrier!)

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I love music and I love sharing it with my friends, which is why I caved in and got myself an iPhone. Everyone has been telling me how great they are and how they can’t imagine their lives without one, but for the last year I just couldn’t get around to buying myself one. After all they are quite expensive! Even a contract costs at least £35 a month and I’m trying to be sensible. I gave in though!

…they may be able to track my movements, but with a phone this snazzy, I really don’t care…

My friends all told me that once I had one I would know what they had been going on about for so long. They were right! My new phone is my new best friend! It’s amazing. I don’t consider myself a technological whizz but even I have to admit that a three year old could easily learn how to use my phone. The thing I wanted it the most for though was for the internet. I needed a phone that would let me upload and share files (particularly music) easily with friends and family. The sim card that came with the phone was no use to me so having listened to my technological whizz friends I did some browsing and found a great deal that offered a flat rate global data roaming service, which meant I could share my music wherever I went! I did have to go online and watch a video of how to do it, but hey like I said I’m not an expert!

My only recent concern has been a report I read on the BBC website a few months back. Whilst I don’t mind my information being kept by Apple (they need it for payment conditions obviously), I don’t like the idea that they may be able to track me wherever I am and wherever I go. My friends have told me to stop being such a whiner and my techno geek pal says that he can block my sim from Apple so that no one can track the phone without my permission, but I don’t know. I really shouldn’t make such a big deal out of it but it is a bit creepy knowing someone can know wherever you are at any given moment. Whatever happened to privacy? I suppose I could just turn the phone off if I didn’t want people to track it.

Despite my concerns though, I am so happy with my phone! Angry Birds alone has made it a worthwhile purchase and now I know what all my friends are talking about when they say I’ll never go back to using a standard keypad phone. Everything is so easy on this phone and the touch screen seems deliberately designed for idiots like me. Best of all, it is so easy to share my music with my friends! I can’t wait until the next model comes out. I have a feeling I’ll be first in line at the Apple store when it does!

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It’s not easy being happy-go-lucky, you know. In fact, it takes an awful lot of energy and is something that takes years of training. You can also get it wrong. Very wrong. Here, however, is how to get it right (then we shall move onto the pros and cons):

1. Being happy-go-lucky is a combination of a few things, so it’s not about just one special ingredient…it’s about several. You have to be able to…

Hang around with other happy-go-luckiers. That should be obvious​too. After all, nobody ever got anywhere good by hanging around with​the wrong crowd, right?

It’s not easy being happy-go-lucky, you know. In fact, it takes an awful lot of energy and is something that takes years of training. You can also get it wrong. Very wrong. Here, however, is how to get it right (then we shall move onto the pros and cons):

1) Being happy-go-lucky is a combination of a few things, so it’s not about just one special ingredient…it’s about several. You have to be able to smile all the time – but that’s obvious – and you have to be able to brush aside serious situation which threaten to pull you down. I am still working on that one…

2) Hang around with other happy-go-luckiers. That should be obvious too. After all, nobody ever got anywhere good by hanging around with the wrong crowd, right?

I think that’s enough of that. You get the idea.

Now onto the pros and cons of being happy-go-lucky:

1) The pros: good things happen to you…because you’ve been showing so much love and kindness to all those around you – even if they don’t fully deserve it – you get it back in massive amounts. Or at least I do, but trust me I have earned it!

2) The cons: people take advantage of you, like the woman from laser hair removal brentwood who phoned me up last week and caught me off guard…and in just seconds I was booked in for a consultation with…well, I have no idea, because of course I didn’t go. I thought I had won the battle of wills at first, but then I started getting phone calls every single day…sometimes in the night…

So, as you can see, it isn’t all plain-sailing when you’re at the top of the game. You have to be prepared for stormy seas too, and a bit of unwelcome weather.

Do I care? Not in the slightest! Being happy-go-lucky is worth more to me than any amount of suffering, and I should hope that you my friend are just the same!

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My test for seeing if a piece of comedy is offensive (and bear in mind this is just my personal opinion):

1) Does it sound condescending towards a minority? Is it directly racially offensive? Saying that, does it sound like an attack on a majority? If it does, and there is no trace of irony in it, then it’s probably OK to call it offensive, even if it isn’t to everyone.

2) Does it make you question yourself or second guess yourself? This is what I meant by tricky. Because sometimes, of course, it’s a good thing to question yourself. It may be offensive, but you need to figure out what is offensive. Is it your reaction which offends you, or what incited it? Working this out should help you decide.

3) Is it really a joke, or is it serious? This is possibly the most difficult one of all, because jokes are sometimes used as thinly veiled racism or sexism. The only person who can decide this is you. There is no universal right or wrong, and that’s probably why jokes are made about english teacher jobs , race, religion and women every day and all kinds of people get offended.

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